Many years ago I wrote an article entitled “Beans or Beach?” – bemoaning the difficulty that serious gardeners have in leaving their gardens like normal people and taking vacations.
“If it is a year that we have decided to visit our family in California the question is always “when”? Seedlings are started in February, the Cold Frame Shuffle is scheduled for March, and the rest of the spring/summer months from April through September? Forget about it. The fall is about the harvest, and I’m hardly likely to cosset and cajole three hundred pounds of vegetables only to leave them hanging come October. November and December, January and February are peak flying times [read: expensive], and also happen to be peak winter storm times for housesitters sitting at the end of a two-mile gravel road without electricity.”
But it wasn’t just about what you missed, I pointed out in the article. It’s what you came back to.
“Even a late summer’s week at the beach is a concern to those of us who till the soil and squish lawn grubs with gusto. Our Mid-Atlantic climate acts like a magical elixir to weeds, grass, vines and all things green. Leave for a week, and an Amazonian jungle greets you upon your return.”
The situation hasn’t changed much since I wrote those words. If anything, it’s technically gotten harder to leave, as I have more seedlings, more plantings, and more once-a-year-can’t-miss things than I’ve ever had.
For gardeners who fall asleep dreaming of new planting schemes, it’s incredibly hard to detach from views we have spent the previous year working to improve, even when we desperately need a vacation – or could benefit from seeing other people’s views at that time of year to teach us something about our own.
But we must.
The garden will always be there, but the ability to travel and spend good time with the people in our lives that we love, may not be. We can’t let the minute by minute of our gardens keep us from enjoying important or spontaneous major moments when the opportunities arise.
It ain’t easy.
It’s not as if I don’t still struggle with this conundrum. This year as I packed to go away for a long overdue unplugging in parts sunny and foreign, I found myself wistfully scanning the landscape charting those lost moments, rather than [rightfully] thinking about all I would gain in new experiences. Not least of all, the experience of time away from my laptop and phone – which was blissful.
Just as I was starting to feel almost resentful that I had to pull out my sunscreen, sandals, and linen trousers when I really needed, and wanted, to get the Taxodium transplanted, I glanced at the barrel sitting next to it and had a flashback of its three sister barrels bobbing down a raging, river-covered field three years ago. Perhaps some of you remember those fun photos.
That day I was handed a large dose of perspective when a flood ripped through our valley and carried many plants and garden paraphernalia to new forever homes down the river to Georgetown (I hope they’re using the croquet set).
The flood came right after two weeks of killing myself to get everything planted for the season ahead. I’d accomplished that goal, but to the detriment of fully enjoying a rare visit by my two sisters and nieces and nephew.
The flood and subsequent devastation and clean up made it clear that, no matter how hard you work, and how many sacrifices you make, and how bravely you work through the back spasms and think you’re tough and wonderful, it can all be taken away tomorrow.
Reflecting on that reality has an incredibly sobering affect. It’s allowed me to find time in my schedule for important things – not because there was time to find, but because there was time that needed to be made.
That has meant delegation, some strategic planning, some favor-pulling, and some gymnastics, but it meant I could enjoy an opportunity or two that doesn’t come around all that frequently. Right now I’m making tough decisions about the garden while I’m away for a tour I’m guiding to UK gardens in two short weeks.
If you’re a serious gardener and feeling yourself instinctively saying “No!” to family and friends and opportunities because the poppies are blooming that week, the baby seedlings need watering, or the fragrant wisteria panicles need your full, undivided, gobsmacked attention, be honest with yourself – when won’t they? And don’t say August, because I’ve got some tropicals that will blow your mind that month too.
Kiss the ones you love while you can under a wisteria-covered arch somewhere else instead. Carpe diem. – MW
Wow beautiful pink roses!!! Sun seems hotter here in Virginia this year or maybe it’s because I am a year older? My roses are in bloom! They will look great for a week or so then the Japanese beetles visit followed by black spot. Every year I prune all the roses, dig in fert and bug repellent and some new soil and water. This year I was too late and only had one rose that was too tall that I trimmed.. didn’t get the fert and bug repellent in at all, and the roses look better than ever before!! Go figure.
Definitely hotter this year – making seedlings a challenge for all of us. Glad to hear your roses are responding well to it. – MW
Sometime last winter, I actually agreed to an 11-day trip IN MAY. I’m still wondering what I was thinking, but I have noticed that knowing I’ll be gone during prime planting season has made me less frantic this spring because it makes no sense to do a fair amount of it before leaving. It remains to be seen if I do this again, however.
Sounds like you’ve got precisely the right attitude. Enjoy the heck out of your vacation! – MW
Always love your rants MW and absolutely love your picture with you carrying beans and an empty wine glass. I know our neighbors often marvel at what my husband and I can get done in the garden one handed.
Harvesting and sipping has to be on my top five things to do. -MW
Wow, I can so identify with your conflicts! I’ve been reluctant to express my feelings about leaving my gardens to go away, especially in the spring. In 1984 we bought a week at a beach resort and started taking our young sons. At that point, I didn’t have much time for gardening and a week’s vacation was a welcome respite. As our children grew up and I had more time, gardening became my passion. Now, 40 years later, we go with them plus our grandchildren, and I love that experience, but I have to give myself a good talkin’ to every April. That’s when the 100s of tulips that I planted in November and the glorious pink ruffled blooms of the Kwanzan cherry tree are at their best. There’s also a ton of chores to do! This March we also went to Walt Disney World with them, so that was 2 weeks gone out of my favorite and busiest season. Priorities, I tell myself. Get a grip! I’m relieved to hear that there are other conflicted souls out there, struggling to find a happy medoum. You are my people!
Oh yes – we’re all in the same boat. Grandchildren absolutely take priority (or at least that’s what podcaster Leslie Harris and fellow Ranter Scott Beuerlein keep telling me)! – MW
So I read this convincing piece and scanned the comments and it’s no surprise to me that one of your dearest and treasured friends hasn’t commented. How could she, since nothing can pursuade her to leave home (garden) for more than 72 hours. Nope, if you want to see her face to face you just have to get your ass to us. And we are delighted that you are doing in the near future. I, of course, totally agree with you and must plan my next trip (though probably when the garden is closed).
I used to be right where Anne is Charles, and maybe I will be again, but there’s too much of the world (and gardens) I haven’t seen. And yes, I am also delighted that I will soon be getting my ass over to the two of you – with a merry band of gardeners willing to leave their May gardens, no less! – xoM
My gosh, I had to go back and look at the bean picture again…I didn’t notice the wine glass! Just the pristine thumb nail which I have never had March thru December for some 30 years! How is that possible? Inquiring minds want to know…
Do understand the scheduling problems though.
Tish Iorio in Central VA
I can’t tell you how delighted I am to read this. Just last weekend I was at a dinner with plant people and I was showing a gardener that I’d only just met a photo of a plant on my phone. I said, as I scrolled through photos, “pardon my dirty fingernails” and she didn’t say – “No worries.” or even, “Please, we’re gardeners!” Instead she said [slowly and pointedly] “Yes, they are very dirty.” Emphasis on “very”.
Stuck with me.
So, I am overjoyed that in the rare instance my fingernails were clean for a photo, I captured it, and you mentioned it. LOLOLOL. – MW
I knew I’d eventually have to return to this post. I totally get it. My husband and I have a magical place in Maine-very, VERY, primitive (we like that), and it’s on a peninsula on a beautiful lake. There are times when it’s hard to leave our garden on Cape Cod, despite our destination. Peony season for instance, so fast and furious and this year will be super difficult, as the maroon beauty, with black undertones, Mons Martin Cahuzac, looks like it is finally going to throw a bloom, without getting hit with a late frost. I’ve bought that peony three times over the last 10 years and the first two plants were clearly mislabled and bloomed pink. Grrrrrr….. I’m getting way too old to wait 4 years for a showing from peonies, but I can’t seem to stop buying them. Apparantly, I found the very last fern leaf peonies available on the planet two years ago, and was happy I bought two and planted them in different locations, in case I lost one. And I DID lose one to poor drainage, ( I love getting smarter with age!)…the remaining peony is going to be spectacular this year. It’s got 5 fat buds. How can I dare to do anything but stare and wait?
A friend has just given me a fernleaf peony after remembering that I desperately wanted one – and your comment has reminded me to get off the computer and get it in the ground! Your place in Maine sounds wonderful, and very worth missing a peony season or two. – MW
So glad I’m not alone on this issue. My daughter is apoplectic when I tell her I have to coordinate my gardening plans with travel plans to see her and my granddaughters.