I think I’m a reasonably competent gardener.
I’ve been gardening for over 25 years now, and for 20 of those years I’ve been earning my living in nurseries and gardens. In the early days I was confident about my knowledge; now I’ve come to be at peace with the vastness of things I will never know.
Edible plants and orchids are weak areas for me. I know a bit about them but I’m much more confident with ornamental plants.
Confession
Over the years I have killed an enormous number of plants.
What kills agapanthus? Well apparently I do…
We’re talking hundreds, maybe thousands, of plants. I can’t begin to think how much money this has cost me.
Not all of these losses were purely my fault. Some of the plants weren’t as frost tolerant as suggested, or weren’t tough enough to take the conditions I was working with.
Yet I must face up to the fact that a lot of plants died through neglect, including those that died in their pots after I’d made an impulse purchase and couldn’t work out where to plant them. Plenty of plants died because I didn’t water them enough or watered them too much. I could plausibly say that in my earlier days I didn’t understand the nuance of watering, but even now I still lose the occasional plant to neglect or under-watering.
Some carnivorous plants can be as challenging as they are enticing
Other plants have been victims of changing circumstances over the years, leaving one place for another and even not having a garden at all.
Too Optimistic
I see a new plant that appeals to me and makes me happy. I buy it and enter into an unspoken promise to the plant that I will plant it and nurture it; in return the plant will thrive for me.
Fairly sure something else killed my pink campanula
But how much space do I have in my garden? I can fit the plant in now but will it have room to grow? Will it be overwhelmed by its neighbours?
I should be more cautious when I’m choosing plants, but buying new plants makes me happy. I have no other vices, and there are worse ways to spend my money.
Must Do Better
I need to stop buying new plants unless I’ve got a specific space in mind.
Who am I kidding? I’m not going to do this! Finding a nice new plant makes me happy, and little else does these days.
I mustn’t be too hard on myself.
Symplocarpus foetidus should be easy to grow, but not here…
Every plant I’ve bought with good intentions has given me a greater insight into the plant world. I am an obsessive plant nerd and love to learn about plants. When I fall in love with my victims, new plants, I’m building up my knowledge and understanding.
I still feel guilty. Maybe I’m too soppy and sentimental to be a gardener and shouldn’t care so much about plants. My plants don’t care about me, and yet they mean so much to me.
I can’t grow Verbena bonariensis… but this is a plant I don’t really care about
I really should stick to the plants that I’ve already got.
But we all know I’m not going to.
Ben, how very encouraging to have someone else share their vulnerability with the wide world! 🙂
In the past I’ve been told not to feel sad about lost plants, but I’ve even considered keeping the labels as a testament to my poor luck/choices.
It’s good to know I’m in good company with some of my garden ways that make me feel guilty. The older I get, the longer I garden, the more I realize what I don’t know. It’s liberating!
It can be a bit scary to see the vastness of what I will never truly get to grips with, but I’ve come to terms with it.
I find it a bit exciting to be spending my life on something that will always amaze me.
Thank you so much Ben for sharing that dark side of gardening where our heartbreaking experiences lie. I have a section in my yard I call the hospital. I dig up plants (if they’re small enough) that are not doing well, pot them up and send them there. They are pampered and monitored carefully. Some do go there to die, but in the end I gave it my all to try to save them.
I think it’s in the wiring of a gardener to try and save things. However some plants just don’t seem to want to live at all for some reason.
Oh, me too! I’ve lived in the same house for over 30 years and have cycled through a LOT of plants. Some are now growing in my daughter’s yard (like that lovely crocosmia) and not mine. Some just up and died; one viburnum literally keeled over. Rabbits have destroyed a lot because I was too lazy to protect them. I inadvertently killed two Japanese maples before I figured to not mulch them and a tulip tree whose feeder roots were overly disturbed by the raingarden I had installed. *sigh* I guess that is one way to keep nurseries in business.
I’m sure they’re grateful.
This is the thing, we plant with great expectations but life gets in the way.
ben, you have lots of company in this department. don’t beat yourself up. this is just another sign of a healthy gardener. enjoy!
Phew! That’s a relief.
Still feel bad for the lost plants though.
” What do we want?’ ” More Plants’ ” When do we want them?” Now
“Where do we put them?” We don’t know
Every plantaholic has the same excuses: ” I have no other vices”
and secretly we are so joyful to have this addiction
Thank you Ben for “outing ” us
This is so incredibly true.
I guess it’s a better vice than most.
This made me laugh out loud because I felt as if you were describing me. Plants make me happy and without them I would be absolutely lost, despite all the drama, which I now realize is inevitable.
I’m glad it struck a chord.
I think there’s a few of us like-minded folks around; we should start a support network.
It’s the best addiction there is ! Grateful every day that plants are my passion.
So timely. Been angry with myself for coming back from a plant shopping trip with daughter. I needed just one plant. She was getting all her annuals for her pots. Guess who bought the most? Now I’ll be walking around the garden with plant in hand trying to figure out where to put it.
Well the nursery has gone to the effort of growing the plants and putting them out for sale, so it would be rude not to buy a few…
Absolutely.
Over the years I’ve learnt to enjoy great passion from other people’s plants as well as my own; this means I get to enjoy the plants in other gardens rather than just lamenting the loss in my own.
It’s the same as the maxim “learn by doing”- but “learn by killing” just sounds a little too harsh!
It does sound rather harsh doesn’t it…!
“I can’t grow Verbena bonari, but this is a plant I don’t really care about” lol thank you so much.
It’s not a ‘bad’ plant as such, but I can’t get into the hype about it.
Your post hit a chord as I’ve been doing serious weeding out of some plants (I’m talking about you, wild violets and spiderwort) in a few beds. Finding the nursery plant tags of the goners was not so fun. 😉
Tombstones for lost plants, as someone once aptly put it.
Things just happen. I’ve had a plain old philodendron for about 40 years now – it’s been gorgeous- but it’s suddenly dying now. Or well- maybe it will pull through – or not. RIP.
Well I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.
“If you have a garden and a library you have everything you need” – Cicero
You don’t need to feel bad about buying plants. There’s always optimism in the purchase and they’re an “investment in the future” :). Thanks for the nice post, Ben.
Can’t believe you don’t “care about” Verbena bonariensis though! I wouldn’t be without it in my garden (and thanks to its self-seeding probably never will be).
For all its popularity I’m not convinced it’s all that great a plant, at least on its own. The plant itself is a bit rough and coarse, the flowers a rather bland shade of mauve, and the plant either seems to seed around like a thug or just die with no options in between.
I care for a garden where the Verbena has seeded into the adjoining meadow and there it looks great amongst the long grasses. It looked good mixed with annual Cosmos in another garden but in general I think it’s overrated.
his last year I continued to buy plants, although I knew i ha a condition (brain tumors) that needed treatments, so I woul not be able o plant or care for them. friends cam to help plant, but many of the newly purchased ones died. I felt bad about that.My compost pile was forgiving. Doing better now and hope to share my volunteer plants that keep on seeding out…life does go on, thankfully.
Glad you’re on the mend, and that your garden is rewarding you with seedlings.
I told a friend recently that I buy plants the way some women buy shoes! I just can’t stop!! Each spring I tell myself not to buy more than I can keep watered – I’ll baby them for the first year then they’re on their own! And each year I buy wayyyy too many!!!
Nice to know I’m not alone!!!
We should start a support group for people in this position…
I am totally with you there- Plants and shoes! I have justified it by saying I could have much a more dangerous addiction. (And most plants are cheaper than shoes.
Mostly cheaper, although I could put you in touch with some nurseries if you want expensive plants!
With me it’s plants and spinning fiber. I’m a spinner, sometimes spin in the garden. I even pull up plants to spin, milkweed stalks have lovely long fibers. Addictions happen. As Ben said, you could have worse ones. You could justify a pair of clogs for the garden…or really cool boots or….
I keep gardening records on Pinterest – one board is called Casualties. I’d like to think there’s less each year, but the numbers say otherwise…
Oh dear, that’s not ideal. I thought about keeping the labels of dead plants but I suspect this would depress me!
Bravo for sharing! This is also my experience!
Glad to know I’m not alone.
Verbena bonariensis is being considered as a candidate for the invasive plant list, not here in N Wales but in Southern England.
I love Bob Brown’s plant list with “Killed it “, often a number of times, written after the name.
Yes I think it definitely has the potential to be a major nuisance in some areas. I wouldn’t mind betting that many of the gardeners who bemoan the introduction of now invasive plants by the Victorians will have V. bonariensis in their gardens…
Have you considered bonding with more fellow gardeners to gain whatever wisdom they may have about how they keep their unusual plants growing? Of course there are also reliable websites like that of the Missouri Botanical Garden who give details about best horticultural practices for each plant in their Plant Finder database.
Yes, but also plants do die. I was in my garden yesterday and noted the loss of a few hardy geraniums; my other geraniums are fine, but a couple have just given up.
i enjoy your humor and that of your followers, but let’s hope plants will evolve to take care of themselves, pick out their favorite spots to live (o.k., and die too, i guess…well, maybe, sorta). Maybe they’ve actually done that already! That’s why they jump into my hands at the nurseries!
You probably don’t want to create a spreadsheet that documents and tracks how many plants you purchased, how much money you spent, how many of them are still alive (it’ll inevitably be fewer than you think)… And you definitely don’t want to know how much money you ultimately invested in dead plants. (This is STILL shocking to me, but almost in a weird badge-of-honor way; is that wrong?)
However, as J. C. Raulston was fond of saying, if you’re not killing plants, you’re not gardening hard enough. You and I (and many more folks, judging from the comments) are apparently gardening quite hard. Grow on with your bad self, my fine sir!
No, sometimes it’s best to have an impression of the losses, and warm memories of the plants I had, rather than cold hard facts.
Thanks Ben for a very funny and apt rant. I am also guilty of all the aforementioned but maybe like me, you’ve also rescued a few. Salvia ‘Rose Marvel’ was looking very sad at 75% off. It was a star this year and even the bracts are showy. One must also revel in the sweet successes.