We have been together for going on 4 years and thousands of miles.”
Do you remember the first time you got on a bike as a kid and were able to ride away into the neighborhood and beyond? Away from the house …your parents and siblings? That feeling of freedom? Well, this aging gardener has come full circle. The bicycle is my current crush and the freedom cycling gives me is intoxicating and addictive.
I am well beyond mid-life but this crisis is real. And my poor neglected garden has borne the brunt of my time on 2 wheels. These days I am battling garden gorillas– vigorous, competitive species that once shared space kindly, but have now staked claim to more and more of an already tiny garden. I apparently have looked away… sped away…pedaled away…from this reality.
Chasmanthium latifolium
That beautiful native grass Chasmanthium latifolium…northern sea oats…has danced here and there. It is well adapted to partly shady, dryish places. The Jelitto website says “Good as a cut flower and later it has outstanding autumn and early winter effect as the drying seed heads rustle in the wind.” Indeed it does. Of course, one doesn’t want to cut the beautiful decorative seed heads too early. They make autumn picture perfect especially when back-lit. There are beautiful back-lit clumps everywhere now.
Hellebore beauty
And then there is Helleborus. I remember the days when these plants were the hot commodity. This time of the year they are so welcome! As one of the earliest bloomers in the garden, Lenten rose flowers seem almost exotic in the dull pre-spring landscape. These happy re-seeding beauties are tough as nails with thick leathery foliage that over the course of winter recline and lay flat smothering anything growing too close. Their abundant seedlings get a bit of protection and a chance to poke through when the time is right.
Sometimes I feel like I am living too close to a Hellebore.
Osmanthus with Liriope skirt
Might I mention Liriope spicata? I have to say it grows well where other ground covers might falter. I planted a few clumps early in the gardens making to have something on the back hill to hold things in place. It has done just that. Now it is a losing battle to control its slow but persistent creep.
My bike affair started in 2019 as a prelude to the COVID lock down. If anything got me through or kept me sane, it was riding Cervelo. The longing for freedom (and sun and air and movement) was, I’m sure, felt by all. Garden, too, called but sadly could not compete with the bikes ability to take me places and see the surrounding landscape. A landscape I do not have to manage.
Cervelo at Hogan’s Fountain in Cherokee Park
I began commuting to my office in 2020 to avoid riding the bus. You know– public transportation. The commute is 12 miles a day; about an hour of riding. Every day I get to ride through beautiful Cherokee Park and along Seneca Golf Course. And there are weekend rides to further away places. It is these weekend rides that have been most damaging to my relationship with Garden. Bike adventures take me away for many hours and stake claim to lots of energy.
Knob Creek Farm~a stop on my first century (100 mile) ride
Cervelo is a beauty. We have been together for going on 4 years and thousands of miles. They (the right pronoun?) are made of carbon fiber and have electronic shifting and hydraulic disc brakes. Their color spoke to me immediately…beautiful olive green, red, and orange. Cervelo is a high-end bike brand whose name “is a portmanteau of cervello, the Italian word for brain and velo, the French word for bike.” Sexy as hell.
Cervelo at the Iroquois Park overlook
Garden is also a beauty, but she is fading. Despite the waywardness of certain species just doing what they do, the beating from weather events in the past years, and neglect, she is still a place truly lovely and peaceful. I spend sitting time with her every day.
Sitting in the garden (watching cycling)
So now I wonder if I can have my cake and eat it too? Is there enough energy to do both? My bike lover beckons me to play; my garden lover is needy. You can imagine where the excitement lies. What to do? Move to a condo? Pass along Garden to a new beau?
I am a bit horrified by what I am writing. My faithful companion of 25 years cannot/should not be thrown aside. Garden and I have a deep relationship but we have changed over the years. When one needs less, the other will surely need more. We are in that awkward “she needs more of my time but I am enamored of another” phase. I will do what I can. It won’t be the intensity of the early years, but things will get done. I promise!
Just a dusting
As I write, I am getting ready to head out of the office a little early as a “wintry mix” is predicted this afternoon. Cervelo will take me home. Garden will be waiting.
Mary Vaananen is the North American Manger for Jelitto Perennial Seeds, a seed company based in Germany.
I get it. I’ve ridden a bike all my life and gardened since I left home. It was originally due to poverty in not being able to run a car or take a vacation. Gardening became a daily vacation. Now I use an ICE Sprint X, a nippy tadpole recumbent. Setting a routine due to retirement made the difference. Gardening in the morning, ride in the afternoon, or reverse. It all gets done.
Thanks for the comment Henry. I am getting close to retirement and hope to have plenty of time to do both. I googled your recumbent bike. Do you have massive glutes?-} I always wonder how that feels going up hills.
Going up hills with a recumbent trike has a different technique than a classic upright but is easy to master and you’re well away.
There’s a weight difference, of course. But the stability, greater safety in traffic (drivers just don’t know what to make of you), and being more aerodynamic. I still ride a classic upright for errands or when I need to combine with mass transit.
You must be in great shape with all that cycling! Good for you. It’s wonderful you’re so passionate about this “new” pastime of yours. But yes, there are only so many hours in the day and something’s got to give. Gardens really are a lot of work, ones which are more than just a lawn and a patio anyway. In the beginning, it was all so exciting for me and I had lists of ideas and projects and plans. I have accomplished much and I think my garden is beautiful. It is full of carefully selected plants and tall trees and darling birds. Over the years though, I have grown tired. My body is older and my knees are achy. I feel myself slipping into maintenance mode. Just accomplishing what “needs” to be accomplished is enough to tire me. But without the creative projects, the spark is somehow missing. Gardening has become like housework, just outside. Hm. I wish you success in balancing your passions in a way which suits you best. You’ll figure it out 🙂
Thank you for the thoughtful comment! Your “housework, but outside” statement really makes the point. It didn’t used to feel like that. Passion seems to be the juice. I wish you some new juice.
I may be going too far, but I wonder if you are at the stage of simply not feeling the same way about your former love (gardening), but are too afraid to admit that new reality. Just speaking for myself, as someone who is prone to depression, and for whom gardening is pretty much my one source of joy or at least contentment, I shudder to think of the day that I lose even that.
Hi Susan. You are probably right. The fact is I still spend time everyday in the garden. Just not working in it so much. I still work full time so perhaps this is the natural way of things as one moves along the trajectory of their life. I wish you endless days of garden joy.
I always love your writings and presentations, Mary. It takes many years for a garden to become its best self, but our interests and energy level change so it can be hard to balance. I have been grateful that my gardening passions have come later in life so I am still pretty enthusiastic. I did the bike thing for awhile – I have a beautiful blue, carbon Cannondale (just my size) I took everywhere- especially loved riding in Portland , OR where my oldest daughter lives. I struggled with my hands going to sleep so gardening took over. Aren’t we lucky to experience so much pleasure ☺️ Thanks for your stories and your IG postings! Abi
Hi Abi! I know of your continued enthusiasm as I see your posts on Insta regularly. Thanks for the joyful comment. Maybe we can take a ride together sometime. My other bike is a Cannondale. I did not mention that sometimes I cheat on Cervelo too.-}
Those lovely plants that did what we asked, filling spaces and adding interest, then become, over time, another annoying job to do…I have the same feelings about sea oats and liriope as you do! Maybe getting on the bike will help!
Thanks Kathy. Give it a spin. You never know….-}
I enjoyed your post a lot and feel for your conflicted love life. But for reasons I can’t explain your “they” pronoun for the bike seemed wrong, impersonal, distant, callous even. In your heart of hearts is it not a he or a she?
I thought about this Charles. There are attributes of Cervelo that are masculine in nature——the speed and power that is generated, the independence and competitiveness (at times) that it enables. And surely the beauty of the machine, the joy and passion felt on the bike, the graceful way it flows through the landscape skew feminine. But men can be beautiful and graceful, and women powerful and fiercely competitive. I really feel them both. I wish the pronoun they wasn’t, as you wrote, so distant. We will have to find something better. Thanks for your comment.
Our yard and garden of almost 40 years also grew into lots more needed management and little time energy or resources left for the fun of beautification. Many “treasures” purchased over time turned into problems (large ornamental grasses, Hootenanny, boxwood, pachysandra, ivy, etc.). I get your desire for freedom. We sold our place to a young couple with rose colored glasses and a love of gardening and then we moved to a condo. Love it. I can garden in a farm plot, at my daughter’s or friend’s houses.
Kudos! Your words have a whiff of freedom. It is the relinquishing of responsibility…a lightening of the load at the right time of life. Thanks!
Always love your poetic and on point musings. I can identify with where you are, were and will be
Hi JoAnne! Thanks. Looking forward to being in your hometown this summer with the PPA symposium Asheville. Hope to see you!
Beautiful discussion of the quandary you are in. It might be time to call for reinforcements from time to time. Perhaps a local landscape company could install a root barrier to keep the Liriope in bounds or maybe you could contact the local native plant society to offer free “you dig” sea oats? Local garden club folk might like do the same with the Hellebores. Perhaps we put too much pressure on ourselves to do it all ourselves? I would love to have some of those gorgeous Hellebores for my decrepit garden in Harrodsburg-hint hint hint.
Jenny P….these are wise solutions! Yes of course I must do it all myself. Who would I trust digging around in my garden? :-} Happy to share a few Hellebores for your hardly decrepit Harrodsburg garden. Best dug in August in our area. Send me a note.
Hi Mary! Eva from the Rambler Garden Club of KY here(we spoke about you presenting to my club next year). I also enjoy your posts and love that you ride a bike (and what a machine you ride!). Retirement offers the freedom to choose. We gave up our 1/4 acre yard after retirement and moved to a much smaller new yard in Lou. Thought I would just have a small perennial patch & volunteer someplace if I wanted to see more. Wrong. I kept adding and creating beds BUT thoroughly enjoy it. I just know you will find your fun. Cheers & maybe see you on the bike path!
Hi Eva! I have the sense that retirement, though still a little bit away, will be just the break I need. More time for the important things. Like our plant and bike addictions! Cheers and thanks for the comment.
I’m on a parallel track Mary. Faced with uncertainty about the future of my specialty nursery (and not wanting to lay off my team) I took on the job of managing the orchards at ‘The Biggest Little Farm’, http://www.apricotlanefarms.com. I gave my team there the Orchard Manager 4×4 truck and bought a used bike. It helps me slow down and see, hear and smell the trees in my care and the animals that work in the orchards. The biggest benefit has been that I feel younger and more in touch with reality. Maybe that’s part of what motivates you too?
There is a certain vigor I feel..physical and mental. An aliveness. An alertness. Less daydreaming than when you are behind the wheel. I imagine it has been a wonderful way, not to cheat away from the orchard, but see and be with more of it. How wonderful for you! Thank you for the note.
Although late to this round of comments, i want to state that i started gardening (mostly natives 20+ years ago. Now I have been diagnosed with brain tumors and have been told not to be outside alone. Nothing will get done, of course, and it is too wild to have me start back on it. Friends come out to dig volunteers and pot up, to share,also plant what i have bought, with the hope that I will be better and can do some things. No biking fopr me, but finding all the plant interest on the internet has opened the window to lots of presentations and interest other people have regarding plants. no bike needed to visit multiple gardens virtually. here are some heated words re invasive or not: Hellebores the latest topic, since they are now on the invasive list for NC,. Anyway, I long to be digging in the dirt I can hope that,one day. Enjoyed your rant. Sorry to be so late to comment.
Linda, thank you for taking the time to comment and sorry it took me some days to respond. When serious illness or trauma is in your life, it certainly brings what is important to the forefront of your attention. Here’s to better times ahead that include gardening until your heart’s content! Good luck!