Behind posts, articles, conferences and social media, there’s a backstory. Have you kept up with the digital correspondence between Ranters Scott Beuerlein and Marianne Willburn? You can start here, or go back and find the entire correspondence at Dear Gardener.
16 March 2024
Cincinnati, OH
Dear Marianne,
Our symposium at the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden was a great success this past Thursday and it really got me fired up. The pain in my hip from surgery, now two months past, tries to hold me back, and yet my fingers somehow managed to drag the rest of me, like two giant, determined spiders, to this keyboard this morning, so eager were they to tell you about this revelation I recently had.
To start with, I did some math and the sad, simple fact is—with any luck—I’ll be 80 in just 16 years (which in gardening years is like five), and I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can keep up with this ¾ acre monster garden I’ve built. The answer came to me out of the blue the other day and, ironically, the answer is something I’ve been fighting against for years.
So, for several years now, I’ve been trying like hell to fill all my diminishing sunny areas with sun-loving perennials. Indeed, they are high reward with all they bring—color, motion, vibrancy, pollinators, and more. Yet they require a lot of work and all the work they require demands that someone (in my case me) gets down on the ground or at least bends over. And, Marianne, I have to tell you that I am no longer any good at either of these two things. So planting, deadheading, weeding, inspecting, praying over, and replacing all these plants requires descending to altitudes that trigger my brain to repeatedly call out, “Pull up! Pull up!” The only work, in fact, that these plants require that actually allows me to stand up like a dignified human person is limbing up my numerous trees, which I’ve been maniacally doing, in order to get them about half the light they need.
So, finally, the other day I said, “Hold on. Wait a minute!” It had occurred to me that it didn’t need to be this way. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that I am now the old gardener I had visualized when I was a young person. And the fact is I had never imagined that old man me out there on my knees pulling weeds in the blazing hot sun. Never. I had always envisioned me puttering around, and mostly doing all that puttering around in a nice, restful, shady garden.
So why for the last decade or so have I been deadset on out Piet Oudolfing Piet Oudolf? The reasons, I think, are these: A) Because sun perennials are what all the cool kids have been doing and, for some pathetic reason, I still wanted to be cool; B) Because for the first half of the last decade I wasn’t so broken. It came on me kind of gradually; and C) Consequently, I’ve been in full blown denial about my stage in life. My God, Marianne, I’m well over 60! Halfway to 70, almost. Late stage middle-aged or early onset elderly! I’m not sure which! (And I’m trademarking that, by the way. Late stage middle-aged or early onset elderly.™ That’s really good and it’s mine and I’m claiming it!)
Marianne, I don’t like being old. I really don’t. And I don’t like being bent over like Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein, but, truth is, I am old. And here’s another thing. A big thing. I was pretty smart when I was younger, at least about this one thing. I planted then and now have all these beautiful trees that I can just let go. Let them be what they want to be. And they can damn well shade out whatever cannot deal with it. Hell, I’ve learned that shit dies. I’ve come to accept that. Sort of. And if a Liatris succumbs to a Chionanthus, so be it. I’m not its mother. It won’t be on my conscience.
And, of course, there are many fine shade-loving perennials. I have plenty of them now and I can buy some more. And although they are also low to the ground and require some bending, they never seem to need the same amount of attention sun-lovers do. Things move slower in the shade. Once established, perennials that live in the shade just seem chill. Like a pina colada on a Caribbean vacation (under a cabana, of course).
So that’s what I’m thinking. I know I’m ahead of you regarding some of this but maybe it’s worth pondering. I don’t know.
Yours,
Scott
PS – I’m intrigued by the book you recommended, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. When I’m in the groove and firing on all cylinders, I can’t imagine anyone being more productive with their time than I am, so it will be an interesting read. Once I buy it, and then add it to one of my stacks, and then finally read it, I’m sure it will be amusing hearing out some imposter’s attempt at the book I would have written if I’d only had the time.
PS – Yesterday, the the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Garden was just named the country’s Best Botanical Garden in a USA Today poll. As a purveyor of botanical gardens, I’m not exactly sure how I feel about that. I mean, I look at Longwood and Chanticleer and Denver Botanical Garden and Chicago Botanical Garden and Red Butte and many others and think, hmmm. However, it does go to show just how rabidly fond our community (and even beyond) feels about us. They are obviously pulling (and polling) for us. Our Director, Thane Maynard, calls us the little Zoo that could. We do have an underdog mentality and you know all the world loves an underdog. It also shows without a doubt just how far we’ve come! Credit goes to Steve Foltz and the amazing staff he assembled. Pretty damned cool. By the way, we also polled as the country’s second favorite Zoo. As the underdog botanical side of an underdog zoo, I know exactly how I feel about that!
Scott, I went from a total shade garden to a full sun, naked back yard. I loved my shade garden. Since planting trees I am beginning to garner a little shade. Makes me very happy!!
So glad. Shade is one of those things you don’t realize how much you love it/need it until it’s gone.
So glad to see you posting . And I am going to get to Cincinnati this spring no matter how much the spouse rolls hiss eyes
Don’t miss going to Skyline for some wonderful Cincinnati chili.. It’s secret ingredient is… shh.. I am not telling!
Getting back into the groove.
Going to be 80 in 10 years and I largely gave up on perennials about 5 years ago when I started adding to the shrubs & trees – especially conifers – in my garden. A few spots with perennials while I wait for the shrubs to fill in the area and shade the perennials out. Sydney Eddison’s book ‘Gardening for a Lifetime’ got me thinking about this and then and I’ve never looked back! Finding the conifers add so much year round color and judicious shrub and tree selection makes the growing season a visual treat.
I will have to look for that book. Thanks for suggesting.
Just turned 72. Even 10 years makes a difference. I could do so much more 10 years ago. Giving away lots and cutting beds way back. Even though I think grass is a usles plant, it is easier to maintain.
I, too, just turned 72. Man, it takes a very few years of aging to take a person from comfortably aged to a decrepit wreck. I photograph gardens and leave the nitty gritty to my spouse, who is only a year and a few months younger than I. He climbs down from his wheelchair to work in the flower beds. I rarely get down from my rollator (walker with wheels) to photograph teeny plants at eye level… I just use my iPhone or one of my cameras that have fully articulated screens. Of course, I will have to get down low for photographing epimediums. That is a holy act!!!!
The elusive great epimedium photo! A holy act to attempt. Immortality if you get it!
“Things move slower in the shade”….now there is another sentence to trademark. Slugs! Curiously both a shade garden insect nemesis, and a descriptor to the pace of us early-onset-elderly adapting to our dappled oases.
By my maths you’re 64. Which is not old though you are obviously prematurely aged! Thats very bad luck.
Help me here, need a big screen title….I am picturing a cadre of underdog gardeners, on their knees, in sun, rain, bitter cold, working to create a gold medal garden otherwise know as The best Botanical Garden. Though they lack funding and the ivy league gardens snicker at their efforts this group of dedicated gardeners bring home the gold! ‘Gardeners in the Dirt’? George Clooney directing?
And the oscar for best screenwriter goes to…
You younguns have nothing on those of us who are REALLY old. (I’m 85.) At this stage we pretty much let the garden take care of itself and sit back to watch nature in all its God-given glory.
I am 84 and was diagnosed last year with Cancer of the central nervous system, so cannot do any work, especially no leaning over. Thank heavens I started with a shade, native spring ephemerals. garden… have added some Carex to fill in, and lots of ferns, of course, but besides self seeding, none of these plants create extra work. I had planned to try the pollinator route, but too hot and dry. I have 7 ac., so could expand, but help would be needed. I keep busy digging out volunteers from the paths and potting up to share with other native plant lovers, but I am finding volunteers of other, desirable plants, and I call on my former Master Gardener friends to give those away. I also started growing from seed before WS became so popular. Best successes there are Halesias, but they take a long time. Don’ know how long I have, but friends will come and dig when I falter. Hope your friends will rally o your aid,, and enjoy the shade gardening, too.
I’m glad you have friends helping, and also have such a great attitude and ethic. A group of my friends did come to help and it was a blessing. People who garden are the best!
“Early onset elderly….” I’m there in mind but bypassed it physically. Heck, my mind says I’m still at “late stage middle age” at 81. I think you had the same epiphany that many gardeners have in their sixties. Many trees, lots of shade, perennials that mostly take care of themselves, strategically-placed seating, music from the birds,
and anything else that makes the good life. You’re meandering down the right path, one where you can do as much or as little as you want.
Thanks for the affirmation and wisdom!
OK, all of you youngsters! I will be 80 in 8 months. Arranged to have second hip replacement in December so I would be back in gardening shape by now. SURPRISE! Hip #2 has not been as easy as #1. So I am back in PT. And sitting here waiting for Rocindo to appear to do the stuff I cannot. And that’s OK. The garden is burgeoning in this welcome sunshine. The mason bees are hatching. The bulbs I bought & planted in pots last fall seem to have weathered our 14 degrees on January.
Sure the beds are still messy. There are weeds hiding in the back of one bed. But you know, I am so darned thankful to be able to enjoy my garden!
It’s good to see so many of us older folks are still gardening as best we can. I finally dug through 4 ft of snow to the big greenhouse last week. I’m in no hurry to fire up the furnace, pack water till the ground thaws, and empty the condensate bucket every damn day. I retired myself from the nursery after my back finally said ‘no more!’. But, I just can’t stop! At 72, I’m figuring out how to go it alone on 15 acres. There’s enough garden for 3 houses here and few annuals to deal with. Piet Oudolf? My old propagation area is now my ‘meadow’ that I mow around. The Live Free or Die area. And pet burial center. I’ve let roses, aconitum, cephalaria gigantea, tons of Lemon Queen trollius, white and purple tall geranium, valerian, and more go utterly wild there. The cow parsnips hide the roses from the moose, so, they don’t get nibbled down to earth.
Irrigation systems are golden! I’ve got my borders, new rose bed, berry garden, and raised beds under a drip system now. And the front of the greenhouse as well. I’m hankering to put the big tomato pots under drip inside the greenhouse so I’m not held prisoner to watering! Mowing the lawn is an utter PIA, but, it’s good exercise. Like snowblowing in winter.
If we stop moving we’ll fossilize. When we lose mobility we lose our sense of humor and THAT is a terrible burden. Keep moving. Take a yoga class and make new friends! Get some sexy new gear for hiking and a loud rain parka so they can find you when you fall down. Make some friends on Instagram and you’ve got helpers who will love to come dig in spring and take home garden treats. And, some will bring you treats as well. I’ve got rose lovers who show up before the leaf buds burst to dig runners of varieties they can’t get commercially. In turn, I’ve been gifted a lovely R. rugosa Lac Majeau, to replace the one my mother gave me from her garden years ago.
There’s still a couple of ft. of snow out there. But, spring’s around the corner and there’s a ton of houseplants indoors to play with till then!
I just have to say you made my day with your comment about the “loud rain parka” Going to get me one.
It was exhausting just reading about everything you’re doing. Amazing! Stay moving seems to be the key.
Well, I turn 72 in a month, and having just finished composting and mulching our acre of gardens in the past three days, I share your thoughts and sore back. What have we done? Then I look at the fifty flats of annuals and vegetables in our basement, living room and dining room and know the end is near. May I borrow your tag line for the garden club presentation I have next week? When they see me, they are not going to believe me!
Use it!
Everyone getting older would do better if there weren’t so many garden writers and pundits ‘teaching’ people labour intensive ways to garden. Drives me mad.
Yep!
Scott, we are not old, we are getting older. My uncle always said he will consider himself old when he can no longer learn.
We have a lot of getting older left in us. I went from shade to full sun and then back to shade. Hopefully I’ll see the sun garden again.
I like that. Old when you can no longer learn. And I’m still learning! Learning what it’s like to get older, for one thing! LOL
Thank you, Scott. I loved your rant. I hoped for a pollinator garden when I had half the front yard dug up and roots removed. Shade from mature trees across the street dictated a shade garden, for the most part. The other half of the front yard is shadier, yet. The turf will be
removed there, too, and very slow-growing grass seed sown. Mow once a year. Love that.
I have been to the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden. The year I was there, a curbside
display of carex or something similar and a variety of Echinacea stopped me in my tracks.
I turn seventy this summer. When I was in forties, I insisted on sitting on the ground to garden with legs crossed in front of me. My back and hips protested for some years. Eventually, I was able to persuade them to adapt. I can still garden like this. Getting up, a different matter.
Thank you!
Today I was joking with myself about going up on a ladder to prune the mulberry tree. I had seen some stupid photo of Pres. Biden on the 1st step of a stepstool. The caption was “DON’T do this if you are over a “certain age”. I can’t remember the age (memory loss?) but it was around mine….almost 70. Hence, I had to tease myself as I went up and down numerous times to prune that tree. I like Kevin O’Dell’s comment the best. Good luck with your back healing. It will…eventually. Now it’s time to bring in firewood.
I think I am done with ladders. Used to love heights. No longer.
As a mere ‘baby’ at 37, one of the things I’ve gained most from gardening is that it’s brought the voices of older folks into my life. I rarely meet people much older than me professionally or in my other hobbies, and I was really missing out! Other than the older generations being so funny and clever, people in the 60+ club have taught me how to set priorities in my garden – to balance between long term and short term projects in particular without spinning myself into a yarn ball of anxiety.
So, thank you Scott for serving as inspiration to us young ‘uns! I hope you get some rest FROM your most recently earned laurels, even though everyone knows you won’t rest ON them!
Gardening bridges generations like few other things. I too have learned so much from those older and more experienced than me. I have also had the joy of learning from much younger gardeners of extraordinary genius. It’s wonderful to have a shared passion and true friendships with people of all ages.
Keep the faith, Scott! I am coming up on 73 and still relish every moment I spend in our garden. Also, as I have always done, I still garden on my knees as I tell garden visitors that is the best way to learn the details of each plant. Yes, it is harder to get up but I always keep a tool near me to aid that process. Still adding new perennials each season to the 1200+ varieties that are now in the garden. Plan to do this gardening thing as long as possible!
Keep on keepin’ on, Mike!
Just when I finally figured out not to worry about BS gardening advice was fortuitous because I can’t do anything for more than 10-15 minutes at a time anyway.
Scott, I so enjoy all your humor and advice for gardeners!
I will be 81 next month. My project this year is a Japanese Garden. I can’t wait to lay the pea gravel and make my first pattern in the stone. Any advice on how to do this without injury? My budget is small.
Best wishes to you for a healthy recovery! Karen
I am the last person who should offer advice on how to garden without injury! LOL
You inspired an article in my native plant newsletter! Thank you.
Either scroll down or hit the aging article in the Contents:
https://mailchi.mp/e116ec9113b7/native-plant-newsletter-15644891?e=%5BUNIQID%5D